Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

: Created: 15 August 2019; Hits: 1774

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

: Created: 27 July 2019; Hits: 1960

I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

: Created: 12 July 2019; Hits: 2259

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."

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And What Do You Do?

A guy and his date were parked on lovers lane at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Just as he made his move the gal stopped him and said: “I really should've told you this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker. If you want to get laid tonight it'll cost you 30 bucks.” Reluctantly the guy forked over the money, then screwed her in the back seat.

When they got back in front the guy just sat in the driver’s seat staring out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” the girl asked. “Well," the guy said, "I should've mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver... and the fare back to town is $35.00!”

Celebrity Divorce Trial

Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.

The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"

Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

What's Better?

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.