Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?
What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?
Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.