Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
How are fat chicks like a moped?
They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.
My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.
Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.
