Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.
A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.
His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"
And that's when the fight started...
What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"
Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"