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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Woman arrested for calling 911 about bad Chinese food

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WTF?! A woman was arrested for calling 911 to report bad Chinese food. C'mon. Is there any other kind? A 44-year-old Ohio woman was brought to jail after calling 911 to report Chinese food that was "not up to par for her liking," according to police.

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Porn doesn't bring tears at funeral for Cardiff father and son

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#WTF?! An investigation is underway after pornography was shown on a TV at a funeral for a father and his baby son. And you wonder why they call dead bodies a stiff! Hey... just sayin'

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Is That Your Elbow, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

After checking in to a hotel, a man is gets into the elevator and accidentally rubs his elbow against a woman's breasts. He tells her, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, come to room 624."

But It Looked So Delicious

My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.

"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."

And that's when the fight started...

Runs In The Family

Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"

"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"