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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

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#WTF?! How not to share the cleaning duties - spitting and spraying windex on her roommate's food. A University of South Carolina student was arrested and charged with a felony after police say she was caught on video spitting and spraying the glass cleaner in food containers. Yuch.

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#WTF?! A 20-year-old University of Kansas student was kidnapped after a Tinder date turned violent. Shane Allen, 30, picked up the student at her sorority house on April 12. According to court documents, the pair had spent one night together prior to the incident. Then, you might say, he REALLY swiped her!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

No Guarantees in the After Life

My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"

I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Be A Dick

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Who's The Boss

Harry and his wife go to a party on a Friday night.

Saturday morning they wake up and his wife tells him, "Boy, were you loaded last night. You insulted your boss for ten minutes straight. He finally fired you."

Harry says, "Fuck my boss."

She says, "I did. You go back to work Monday."