WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Created: 18 August 2016; Hits: 2753

#WTF?! Just when you think you have seen it all, a guy allegedly tries to fornicate with a red van. One Tuesday evening, cops in Dayton, Ohio received a 911 call about a man "pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign," according to a Dayton Police Department report. Nothing like a big swingin' dick to make a cop's night!

: Created: 25 June 2015; Hits: 3634

#WTF?! A woman admitted to taking selfies as she had sex with her pit bull at her grandmother’s house, police said. Here we go again... Another doggie style story with a million possibilities for jokes that tell themselves.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ask And You Shall Receive

Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."

She Interrupted The Game

My wife popped in while I was watching the game and asked: "Want some supper?"

Without looking up I replied: "What are my choices?" She fired back: "Yes and no!"

And that's when the fight started...

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."