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WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Teacher burns ‘I love mom’ into students’ arms with Tesla coils

Created: 12 May 2015
Hits: 9160

#WTF?! Branding students with a Tesla coil in the name of science is the new math & it doesn't add up. An Oregon science teacher found himself in a shocking situation when the local police announced they were launching an investigation into his questionable teaching methods. Nothing makes a more enthralling high school science class than playing with Tesla coils. 

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Maine police not joking about beaver-eating snake

Created: 07 July 2016
Hits: 3601

#WTF?! A Maine police department insists it is "not joking" about a large snake seen eating a beaver on a riverbank. The Westbrook Police Department said in a Facebook post an officer patrolling the Riverbank Park area spotted the "large snake" about 3:30 a.m. Wednesday "eating a large mammal, possibly a beaver (not joking)."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sausage Without Mustard?

Bill and Ted, decide they want to go out and get wasted, but after counting all their money, they realise they only have about ten bucks between them. So Ted gets an idea. They head over to a local butcher and Ted tells Bill to wait outside. Ted comes out a few minutes later with a foot long sausage. Bill reminds his buddy they want to get wasted, not eat.

Ted assures him not to worry, "We'll hit a bar and drink them dry. Then, when we're ready to leave, I'll have the sausage in my pants, and you start sucking on it. They won't even think about asking for money." Sure enough, after a bunch of drinks at the first bar, Bill goes down on Ted and the bouncer immediately kicks them out. Ted tells Bill, "See, I told you this would work. Let's hit another." This goes on for 3 more bars.

As they are about to stumble into the next one, Bill turns to Ted and says, "Hey... Can I have the sausage this time? My neck is killing me." Ted replies, "What sausage? I got hungry 2 bars back."

The Happiest Man In The World

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...

New Business

Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.

They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"

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