WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Created: 23 June 2015; Hits: 3533

#WTF?! A man accused of using a bomb to rob a bank says it was just a vibrator wrapped in duct tape. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Gives new meaning to the phrase "This is a stick-up" doesn't it?

: Created: 15 May 2015; Hits: 9669

#WTF?! A naked man who believed he was God and had sex with a tree was arrested for attacking a cop. Sex with a tree? Gives new morning to the phrase "morning wood." And apparently there was no law against that!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Call Me Old Fashioned

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

Perfecta

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He says, "What was that for?"

She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jesus, honey...remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with the frying pan again.

He says, "What was that for?" She says, "Your horse called."

Ask And You Shall Receive

Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."