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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Woman Pleads Guilty To Charges She Attempted To Cut Off Husband's Penis

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#WTF?! Shades of Lorena Bobbitt! Trying to slice his salami was truly the most unkindest cut of all. A woman pleaded guilty to assault with a deadly weapon and assault with great bodily injury after her husband said she attempted to cut off his penis with a pair of scissors.

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Man arrested after allegedly touching orangutan at Fresno Chaffee Zoo

Hits: 2891

#WTF?! A 24-year-old man was arrested for allegedly scaling a five-foot barrier at Fresno Chaffee Zoo to touch an orangutan.

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A Lot On The Side

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

A Duck Walks Into A Bar... Here We Go Again!

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.

The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.

The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

The Diagnosis

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins,  "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."