WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Category: WTF?!; Published: 10 May 2015; Hits: 1770

#WTF?! Shades of Lorena Bobbitt! Trying to slice his salami was truly the most unkindest cut of all. A woman pleaded guilty to assault with a deadly weapon and assault with great bodily injury after her husband said she attempted to cut off his penis with a pair of scissors.

Over My Dead Body

What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

Street Accounting

Little Johnny is always being teased by the neighborhood toughs for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel, causing no amount of snickering and glee among the bullies.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, nice Mr. Johnson pulls him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?"

Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd probably stop. Right now I'm up more than twenty bucks on those mooks!"

Sexting

I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

Main Menu

WTF?!

Woman Pleads Guilty To Charges She Attempted To Cut Off Husband's Penis

Man Robs Bank Using Sex Toy Disguised As Bomb, Police Say

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Over My Dead Body

Street Accounting

Sexting