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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Fake penis trial: Gayle Newland jailed for eight years

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#WTF?! Gayle Newland, who tricked her female friend into sex using a fake penis, was sentenced to jail for eight years. One year for every inch of that fake Johnson... but who's counting.

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Woman's breast implants held 1.5kg of cocaine, say Colombian airport police

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#WTF?! A Honduran woman carrying 3 pounds of liquid cocaine in breast implants arrested at the airport in Colombia’s capital. Imagine doing the motor-boat on that babe!

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Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?

Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.

Safety First

When's the best time to put out the cat?

When it's on fire.

Better Than A Gold Watch

It was the local mailman's last day on the job after 35 years delivering mail in the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the entire household who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift envelope full of cash. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a collection of the best fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in skimpy lingerie. She took him by the hand, led him upstairs to the bedroom and proceeded to fuck his brains out. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a gigantic breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him one last cup of coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words" he said. "But what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."