WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Created: 14 June 2015; Hits: 3888

#WTF?! A British woman jailed in Malaysia for taking her clothes off on a mountain has returned home. Or as Frank Zappa might advise: "Don't fuck with the mountain, don't fuck around!" In this case rather sacred mountain.

: Created: 22 June 2015; Hits: 3165

WTF?! A German man who scanned the QR code on a bottle of ketchup said it took him to to a porn site. Perfect. Heinz... 57 varieties... now... 58. Our question is, where can we get a bottle of ketchup like this! The only thing edible at the local 24-hour video store is flavored lube!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sausage Without Mustard?

Bill and Ted, decide they want to go out and get wasted, but after counting all their money, they realise they only have about ten bucks between them. So Ted gets an idea. They head over to a local butcher and Ted tells Bill to wait outside. Ted comes out a few minutes later with a foot long sausage. Bill reminds his buddy they want to get wasted, not eat.

Ted assures him not to worry, "We'll hit a bar and drink them dry. Then, when we're ready to leave, I'll have the sausage in my pants, and you start sucking on it. They won't even think about asking for money." Sure enough, after a bunch of drinks at the first bar, Bill goes down on Ted and the bouncer immediately kicks them out. Ted tells Bill, "See, I told you this would work. Let's hit another." This goes on for 3 more bars.

As they are about to stumble into the next one, Bill turns to Ted and says, "Hey... Can I have the sausage this time? My neck is killing me." Ted replies, "What sausage? I got hungry 2 bars back."

Home Cookin'

My wife asked: "How was dinner?"

I told her: "It was fit for a king! Here King.... here boy..."

And that's when the fight started...

Can You Tell The Difference?

Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.

She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."

Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."

Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."