Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
It helps them remember which end to wipe...
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.