A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Trade It In

Hits: 2986

Why is a woman like a car?

On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.

Great Inventors In History

Hits: 2944

Teacher: Who knows the inventor of the car air conditioner?

Little Johnny: 3 Jewish guys. Hi, Norm and Max.

Not So Difficult After All

Hits: 2806

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?

Page 10 of 149

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Two Professionals Discussing Technique

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in the shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."

It's A Celebration

My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"

I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."

And that;s when the fight started...

Do You Speak English?

A guy is screwing his girl friend in the park one night and they get caught by the local cop. A homeless guy who was living in the bushes was the only witness. On the day in court the couple plead not guilty so the bum has to testify. When asked what he saw he tells the judge: "They was fuckin'!"

The judge quickly admonishes him: "Sir, we don't like to use that kind of foul language in court. Try to describe what you saw in a nicer way or I will have to hold you in contempt!" The homeless guys tries again: "But your honor, they WAS fuckin'!"

"That's disrespect and contempt" said the judge and sentences him to two days in jail! Two days later he calls the homeless man back to the stand and oncee again asks: "What did you see this couple doing on the night in question?" The homeless guy repeats his statement: "I already told you, your Honor, they was fuckin'."

The judge slams down his gavel: "There's that WORD again. Now you get three days in jail!" And the poor guy is dragged off one more time. Three days pass and the homeless guy is back in front of the judge. "I'm going to give you just one more chance. Tell me what those two were doing that night! And do it without any more foul language!"

The bum thinks about it for a minute and finally says: "Your Honor, his pants were below his knees, his ass was flyin' in the breeze, his you-know-what was you-know-where, and if that ain't fuckin' you can gimme the chair."