A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Trade It In

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Why is a woman like a car?

On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.

Great Inventors In History

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Teacher: Who knows the inventor of the car air conditioner?

Little Johnny: 3 Jewish guys. Hi, Norm and Max.

Not So Difficult After All

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Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How Much Land Do You Own?

Three Texans are sitting on a bench together. One named Smith, one named Johnson, and the other one named Goldberg. Smith begins to brag about how much land he has, "500 acres with 1000 head of cattle I call it 'Smith Acres'"

Johnson says, "Yeah, not bad, but I have 1000 acres and 2000 head of cattle, I call it 'Johnson Estates'". Both Smith and Johnson look over at Goldberg and say, "So, how much land do you have?"

Goldberg says, "Well, I only have 75 acres." "75 acres!?!" they reply, "that's all? What that's called?"

Goldberg responds, "Downtown Houston".

It's Party Time

A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.

"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"

A Visit To My Local Sex Toys Shop

This year I bought some interesting gifts for my wife for Valentine's Day

I got her 2 sets of handcuffs, 4 pairs of crotchless panties, a giant butt plug, a 12 inch vibrator, a bondage whip, a naughty nurses outfit and 6 huge glow in the dark penis shaped helium balloons.

Will she be happy with it all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that on February 14th her grave will stand out more than any others in the cemetery!