Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Why is a woman like a car?

On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.

Teacher: Who knows the inventor of the car air conditioner?

Little Johnny: 3 Jewish guys. Hi, Norm and Max.

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?

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You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

When's the best time to put out the cat?

When it's on fire.

A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."

Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."

The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."

Sam says, "What's the good news?"

The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."

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