Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

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Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?"

Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

Mom's Best Advice