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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Mom's Best Advice

Created: 09 July 2017
Hits: 1910

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

Some Bad News

Created: 07 July 2017
Hits: 2193

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

Wardrobe Selection

Created: 04 July 2017
Hits: 2149

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Good Day on the High Seas

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

Can't Try It On First

A guy goes into a drug store to buy some condoms. The girl behind the counter asks, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up one finger and asks, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and asks, “That big?” He says, “Smaller.” She holds up two fingers and he says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

She sticks the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”

Timing Is Everything

A cop was patrolling the local lover's lane when he drove by a car with a couple inside and the dome light on. It appeared that the young man in the driver’s seat was reading a computer magazine and the young lady was in the back seat knitting. Stopping to investigate the cop knocked on driver’s window. The young man rolled the window down and said, "Yes officer?"

"What are you doing?" the cop asks. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I’m reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like?, She's knitting."

"How old are you?" the officer asked the young man. "I’m nineteen." he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen."

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