A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Mom's Best Advice

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"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

Some Bad News

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Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

Wardrobe Selection

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Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Like She Used To Be

A wife arrived home after a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a cute little hottie.

Just as she was about to storm out of the house in anger, her husband stopped her and begged to explain: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl. She was looking poor and tired, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were worn out, so I offered her the pair you didn’t wear because you thought they went out of style. She was cold so I gave her that birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours, the ones you said didn’t fit anymore. Then as this poor young lady was about to leave, she paused at the door and asked me, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?'"

"And so, here we are!"

Never Take Candy From A Stranger

A guy pulls up to a little girl playing on the sidewalk and says, "Hey, little girl, want a lollipop?"

The girls says "My mommy told me not to take candy from strangers. But if you give me twenty bucks, I'll suck your dick."

Where Shall We Go?

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her:  "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...