Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"
I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke.
Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"
