Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.
His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"
Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.
My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
