Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"
I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."
And that;s when the fight started...
A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.
The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."
Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"
A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."
