Musings From George Burns

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo night.

Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?

He caught her in the act.

Nacho comes before a judge. The judge asks: "Why're you here?" Nacho tells him: "I'm accused of starting my Xmas shopping early."

The judge says, "That's not a crime. How early did you start?"

Nacho says, "Before the store opened."