Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!

Cop pulls a guy over at 3am: "Where you going at this hour?"

Guy says: "To a lecture on alcohol abuse, its effect on the human body. And the dangers of smoking & staying out late."

"Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

"My wife."

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."

The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"

She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."