How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A tran-sister.
A man calls the doctor and is frantic, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?
Put up a "Bingo" sign.
