How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"
I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.
"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"
"I didn't feel a thing."