My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?"
Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.
A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.
The doc asks, "Why?"
The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."
