How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.
I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."
And that's when the fight started...