How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?
A 1-story... no fucking overhead.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
