How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."
Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
