Been A Long Time

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Why is a pussy like the weather?

Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"

The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."