Been A Long Time

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

What's the definition of trust?

Two gay cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Two guys are having a couple of beers and talking about their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asks the first one.

"Well, not exactly," replies his friend. "She just pretends to be a dog." "Very kinky." says the first guy.

"Well, not really... Whenever I lean over and whisper let's do it doggy style, she rolls over and plays dead."

Why are men like cars?

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.