Been A Long Time

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?

Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.

In college I wanted to join the debating team.

But somebody talked me out of it.