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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Not Quite A Cure

Created: 25 August 2017
Hits: 2731

A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.

"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."

First Door On The Left

Created: 23 August 2017
Hits: 2902

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."

Sign Of The Times

Created: 21 August 2017
Hits: 2691

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

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Wrap it Up

A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."

Hold On There Little Fella

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

Facts Of Life

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

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