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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Not Quite A Cure

Created: 25 August 2017
Hits: 2749

A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.

"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."

First Door On The Left

Created: 23 August 2017
Hits: 2926

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."

Sign Of The Times

Created: 21 August 2017
Hits: 2714

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Give Me No Lip

My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"

I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."

And that's when the fight started...

Maybe Just One More

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"

"That's a picture of my wife."

"So why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."

He Takes The Crown

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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