Want to see flying saucers?
Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.
A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.
The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "
"Getting my date drunk."
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!
