Want to see flying saucers?
Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.
I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?
She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."
And that's when the fight started...
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
