Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?
There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.
My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.
A guy bends his wife over the kitchen table and fucks her in the ass. When he's finished he asks: "Did you like that?"
She tells him: "I'd have liked it a lot more if the kids were done eating."
A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.
"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"