Very Much The Same

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?