Very Much The Same

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick. Booyaa!

I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."

And that's when the fight started...

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"