Very Much The Same

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?

Two highballs and a squirt.

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.