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Sex Is Like A Car

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 July 2015
Hits: 3139

Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."

Homeless or Houseless?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 July 2015
Hits: 3013

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

Only Fools Fall In Love

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 20 July 2015
Hits: 2328

My wife and I had our usual back and forth at breakfast when I finally said: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."

And that's when the fight started...

In Need of Repair

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 19 July 2015
Hits: 2574

Why are women like a storm door?

The more you bang 'em ... the looser they get.

And once that happens ... not even a longer screw can fix it.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The King and The Queen

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

Sexting

I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and  I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

It's All How You Look At It

A married couple goes to the same Italian restaurant every Sunday for 30 years. And every time they show up the owner says, "Hey! Its-a you two guys. You my favorite-a couple. You made-a for each other. You last-a so long. You meant-a to be!"

Then one Sunday the guy walks in alone. The owner says, "Whats-a happened?" The guy tells him, "We got a divorce."

The Italian guy says, "Oh, you much-a better off-a now."

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