My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."
Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."
Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."
Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"
Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"
