My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
What's the difference between a husand and a wife?
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child. Husbands want to videotape the conception.
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
