My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"
I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
