My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?
Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."
Wife walks into the kitchen and finds her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Hunting flies," he tells her.
"Oh, kill any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," was his reply. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
"Easy," he says. "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
