D*ck Joke of the Day
A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.
  • Home
  • Dick Jokes
  • Just Plain Funny
  • That's when the fight started
  • WTF?!
  • About
  • Send Dick A Joke

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

  1. You are here:  
  2. Home
  3. Every Frickin' Joke

Every Frickin' Joke

Some Fun In The Sun

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 30 July 2015
Hits: 3017

Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.

"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"

The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

Looks Good To Me!

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 29 July 2015
Hits: 2825

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...

Great Minds Think Alike

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 July 2015
Hits: 3923

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Little Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Litle Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Little Johnny tells her, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, the answer is two, but I like how you're thinking."

So Little Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Little Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

Put It On My Bill

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 July 2015
Hits: 2773

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"

Page 200 of 286

  • 195
  • 196
  • 197
  • 198
  • 199
  • 200
  • 201
  • 202
  • 203
  • 204

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Advice For Gardeners

Easy, inexpensive way to get rid of weeds: Put 2 cups of Epsom salt and a 1/4 cup of dish soap in a gallon of vinegar. Shake well.

Then tell your family you're going to mix it in their food if they don't get off their lazy asses and go outside and yank up the goddamned crabgrass.

There's No Substitute

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."

Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.

Advice From Dick

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Copyright © 2026 D*ck Joke Of The Day. All Rights Reserved.