What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.
My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"
So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."
And that's when the fight started...
