What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
I've found that most younger women make a lot of noise in the bedroom.
Guess they're not expecting to see anyone outside their window.