What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
And that's when the fight started...
Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"
"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
