A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Don't Forget to Eat Your Veggies

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3095

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

Ripped from the Headlines

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3119

So I was reading the paper the other day when I caught the headline: "Sex no more strenuous than golf, expert says"

What would we do without experts? But yeah... true... and for some guys sex is harder to get it in the hole!

Brand New Dishwasher

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2868

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.

Brrrrrrrrrr

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3163

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Can You Build Things? Check Your Mail!

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

Mowing The Lawn

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...

Knew It Wouldn't Work

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...