What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After two years, the job still sucks.
Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
A drunk's walking along and smacks right into a tree. He backs up a few steps and then walks into the tree again. And then he does it again!
Finally he mumbles to himself, "This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and here I am, lost in the fuckin' forest."
My wife and I had our usual back and forth at breakfast when I finally said: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."
And that's when the fight started...
