What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After two years, the job still sucks.
What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?
You at least take the trash out once a week.