What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After two years, the job still sucks.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)
Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"
A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."
