Every Frickin' Joke

Bless You

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 19 November 2015; Hits: 3589

What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?

Goes-in-tight!

On The Rag, Vampire Style

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 18 November 2015; Hits: 3255

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

Gobble gobble

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 November 2015; Hits: 3549

What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

What... you didn't see that coming?

Call A Cleaning Lady

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 16 November 2015; Hits: 2950

My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"

I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."

And that's when the fight started...

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Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Not Your Typical Over The Counter Medicine

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Short Strokes

What do you do in case of fallout?

Put it back in and take shorter strokes.