Every Frickin' Joke

Bless You

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 19 November 2015; Hits: 3538

What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?

Goes-in-tight!

On The Rag, Vampire Style

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 18 November 2015; Hits: 3198

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

Gobble gobble

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 November 2015; Hits: 3498

What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

What... you didn't see that coming?

Call A Cleaning Lady

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 16 November 2015; Hits: 2901

My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"

I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."

And that's when the fight started...

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Barking Dog, Eventually Stops!

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

But It Looked So Delicious

My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.

"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."

And that's when the fight started...

My Last Gig

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.