What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!
Here's a math question. If you get into bed 9 hours before you have to wake up, and your wife wants to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?
Answer: 8 hours, 57 minutes - who cares what she wants!
What's the definition of a lady?
Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.
A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"
And that's when the fight started...
