A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Every Frickin' Joke

Musings From George Burns

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2632

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

Knew It Wouldn't Work

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2697

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2740

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

More Than One Way To Please

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3101

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

Page 8 of 286

Don't Miss These Jokes!

I'm Too Old For This

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

This Should Cure Him

A lady takes her husband to the doctor's office.

After his check-up, the doctor calls her into his office and says, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, which, combined with stress, will kill him in a few months. What you have to do is, each morning, fix him a nice breakfast, and be pleasant. Make him a nice lunch to take to work, and for dinner, make meals for him you know he'll enjoy. Don't give him too much to do around the house, especially after he's had a hard day. And don't burden him with too many of your problems, because that'll only increase his stress. And most importantly, make love to him a couple of times a week, and try to give him oral sex once a month or so. If you can do this for the next ten months, I think your husband could regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband says, "What did the doctor say?"

She says, "He said you're gonna die."

Ding Dong

The bell rings at a whorehouse.

The madam answers the door and finds a guy with no arms and no legs. She looks at him and says: "What'ya think you're gonna do in here?"

He says: "Hey... I rang the bell, didn't I?"