A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Musings From George Burns

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2723

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

Knew It Wouldn't Work

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2784

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2846

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

More Than One Way To Please

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3184

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Morning On The Farm

One lazy morning a little farm boy is told to do his chores. He hates getting up early, so after he slops the hogs he angrily kicks one as he leaves. Then he feeds the chickens and kicks one on the way to the barn. Finally he milks the cow and before heading home he gives that cow one swift kick.

When he sits down at the breakfast table his mother says: "I've been watching you. You kicked the hog so no bacon for you. You kicked the chicken so no eggs for you. And you kicked the cow so no milk for you."

Just then his dad walks in from plowing the back forty and angrily kicks the cat out of the way. The little boy looks at his mom and says: "Should you tell him or should I."

Stuck On A Desert Island

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.

After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her.

After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up again.

As Far As The Eye Can See

Two blondes are talking geography. The first one asks: "Which do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?"

Her pal replies: "Hellooo, can you see Florida from here?"