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Every Frickin' Joke

Musings From George Burns

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 05 September 2017
Hits: 2696

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

Knew It Wouldn't Work

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 04 September 2017
Hits: 2766

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 03 September 2017
Hits: 2818

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

More Than One Way To Please

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 02 September 2017
Hits: 3163

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ripped from the Headlines

So I was reading the paper the other day when I caught the headline: "Sex no more strenuous than golf, expert says"

What would we do without experts? But yeah... true... and for some guys sex is harder to get it in the hole!

This Will Take Might Of Steel

Harry is 85 when he gets married to a 22-year-old. One night after his honeymoon he shows up at the local bar where all the guys want to hear about his wedding night.

"Well," Harry tells them, "We got to the hotel and my youngest son helped me out. First he carried me up the stairs. Then he helped me get undressed. Finally he lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off her."

One of his buddies asks him, "Why did it take your three sons to lift you off?"

Harry says, "'Cause I fought 'em."

Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

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