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Another Problem To Solve

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 19 December 2016
Hits: 2253

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

The House Dictates the Policy

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 18 December 2016
Hits: 2212

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

The Secret is Out

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 17 December 2016
Hits: 2040

A guy was complaining to his buddy: "Man, I had it all - money, a big house, a luxury car, and most of all the love of a beautiful woman. And then POOF... just like that it was gone!"

'What happened?' asked his friend.

"My wife found out..."

Keep It In The Family

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 16 December 2016
Hits: 2424

A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"

The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Never Too Old To Learn

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Not Your Typical Over The Counter Medicine

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Wrong Answer

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

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