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All Present And Accounted For

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 11 December 2016
Hits: 2457

A manager hired a new secretary who was young, sweet and proper. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. As she left the room, she politely remarked, “Sir, did you know your barracks door is open?”

At first the boss didn't understand what she meant. But later he looked down and saw his open zipper. That's when he decided to have a little fun with his new hire. Calling her back in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you notice a soldier standing at attention?”

To which his secretary very smartly replied, “Why, no sir. All I saw was a disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”

It's Going To Need Some Work

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 December 2016
Hits: 3016

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the pool."

Shoulda Used A Towel

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 09 December 2016
Hits: 2336

My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"

Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.

You Learn Something New Everyday

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 08 December 2016
Hits: 2791

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's Why They Name Hurricanes After Women

How is a woman like a hurricane?

When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.

A Financial Discussion

I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.

She asked why not?

"Cause the thief spends less than you do."

And that's when the fight started...

No Pain? Game On!

Husband says to his wife, "Here's 2 aspirin & a glass of water for your headache."

"I don't have a headache." His wife tells him

"Good. Now strip. We're fucking."

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