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In The Doctor's Office

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 08 January 2017
Hits: 2550

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounts his patient and starts having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”

Good Advice

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 07 January 2017
Hits: 3105

I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

Biology Class

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 06 January 2017
Hits: 3136

The teacher was trying to teach the class the proper words to use when describing bodily functions. She admonished the class to use the term urinate. To reinforce the lesson she asked the class to use their knew word in a sentence.

When she called on Little Johhny he said: "Teacher... urinate. But if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten!"

Keep it Safe

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 05 January 2017
Hits: 3022

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's Pretty Tight!

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

Ringling Brothers

My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."

And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"

And that's when the fight started...

I'll Never Forget What's Her Name

A guy visiting his old friend for dinner one evening was very impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married nearly 50 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the guest leaned over to his host and commented: "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head and sighed: "I have to tell you the truth. Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared shit to ask the old bitch what it is..."

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