Every Frickin' Joke
What's Better Than A Good Day Fishing
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2824
Jack and his buddies were hanging out, planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, Jack had to tell them that he couldn't make it because his wife wouldn't let him go. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jack headed home frustrated and depressed.
The following week when all the guys arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Jack sitting in his camp chair next to a roaring campfire with a cold beer in his hand. "How did you talk your wife into letting you come?" the guys asked.
"I didn't have to," Jack replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I came home, grabbed a beer, and slumped down in the couch ready to drown my sorrows knowing I couldn't go fishing with you guys. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me, covered my eyes and yelled, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back and spun around, there she was standing in front of me in a beautiful see through negligee. In a low voice she whispered, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' And so... here I am!"
And What Do You Do?
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3334
A guy and his date were parked on lovers lane at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Just as he made his move the gal stopped him and said: “I really should've told you this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker. If you want to get laid tonight it'll cost you 30 bucks.” Reluctantly the guy forked over the money, then screwed her in the back seat.
When they got back in front the guy just sat in the driver’s seat staring out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” the girl asked. “Well," the guy said, "I should've mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver... and the fare back to town is $35.00!”
And When You Die...
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 2788
My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"
"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
And that's when the fight started...
Talent From Top To Bottom
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3005
What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?
A smartass!
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