Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.
Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?
I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"
She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."
And that's when the fight started...
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."