How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
My contribution to poetry & truth:
Roses are red that much is true. But violets are purple not fucking blue.
My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"
I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."
And that's when the fight started...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."