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Who's Your Daddy?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 July 2019
Hits: 2193

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."

There's Only One Alternative

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 12 July 2019
Hits: 2276

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."

I'd Love To But...

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 05 July 2019
Hits: 1770

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "​

And that's when the fight started...

A Hobby For My Old Age

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 28 June 2019
Hits: 1798

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

​The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Doctor's Recommendation

A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."

The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"

The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Who Caught What

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

On The High Seas

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The bartender looks at him and says: "Hey matey, do you know you have a steering wheel attached to your dick?"

The pirate replies: "Arrrgh... and it's driving me nuts!"

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