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Who's Your Daddy?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 July 2019
Hits: 2829

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."

There's Only One Alternative

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 12 July 2019
Hits: 2847

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."

I'd Love To But...

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 05 July 2019
Hits: 2377

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "​

And that's when the fight started...

A Hobby For My Old Age

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 28 June 2019
Hits: 2372

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

​The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

Hide Your Cows!

My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"

And that's when the fight started...

No Place Like Home

A trucker who was on the road for two weeks stops at a whore house in Atlanta. He plops down $500 bucks and tells the madame: "I want your ugliest girl and a grilled cheese sandwich."

The madamce is astonished and says: "For that kind of money you can have any of my finest ladies and a 5-course dinner."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin'... I'm not horny - I'm homesick!"

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