Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 818

Guy goes to his doctor for a checkup. After, they sit down in a private office to discuss the results. The doc starts with: "I have good news and I have bad news."

The guy says: "Give me the bad news doc." The doctor replies: "You've got cancer!"

The guy is shocked, but quickly asks: "So what's the good news?"

The doctor looks him in the eye and tells him: "I'm fucking the receptionist."

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 656

I asked my wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She told me she'd take half and leave me.

So I told her: "Great! I won 10 bucks on a scratch-off this morning. Here's your five, now get the fuck out."

And that's when the fight started...

Category: Just Plain Funny
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Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1166

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 999

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 767
Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
 
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 902

My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 788

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.