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Yeah... It Was Her Fault

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 January 2019
Hits: 2901

A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.

He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "

Nutrition Is So Important

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 January 2019
Hits: 2824

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

Never Too Old To Learn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 24 January 2019
Hits: 2351

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Not Like The Chicken

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 23 January 2019
Hits: 2346

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Necessarily From The Bronx

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

This Could Come In Handy

A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"

She says, "What do I have to do?"

He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."

She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."

My Wife Was Feeling Sick

Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."

She asked: "How do you know?"

I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."

And that's when the fight started.

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