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Yeah... It Was Her Fault

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 January 2019
Hits: 2849

A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.

He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "

Nutrition Is So Important

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 January 2019
Hits: 2773

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

Never Too Old To Learn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 24 January 2019
Hits: 2295

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Not Like The Chicken

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 23 January 2019
Hits: 2294

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

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Maybe Just One More

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"

"That's a picture of my wife."

"So why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."

I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie...

What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans on?

A white chick's ass.

A Sign of the Times

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"

His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"

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