A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Yeah... It Was Her Fault

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2946

A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.

He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "

Nutrition Is So Important

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2851

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

Never Too Old To Learn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2387

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Not Like The Chicken

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2387

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

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Karma Is A Bitch

A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."

Are You Superstitious?

The most common superstition in the world today? Belief in your hororscope. There's even a name for people who have that superstition.

They're called "single women."