A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Yeah... It Was Her Fault

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2962

A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.

He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "

Nutrition Is So Important

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2859

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

Never Too Old To Learn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2393

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Not Like The Chicken

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2401

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

Page 5 of 286

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Open Wide

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Call Me Old Fashioned

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

Don't Find Yourself in Deep Shit!

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.