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Every Frickin' Joke

Not Even GPS Will Help

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 06 May 2019
Hits: 1981

A drunk walking home one night staggers into a tree. He backs up, takes a step, and runs into the tree again.

Two more times he bumps into the tree, then curses: "Great. I shoulda been home 2 hours ago, and here I am lost in the damn forest."

Promise Kept

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 April 2019
Hits: 2278

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

​She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

​St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"

Is Delivery Included?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 05 February 2019
Hits: 1738

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)

Wrap it Up

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 31 January 2019
Hits: 1967

A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."

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Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

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Dead Or Live?

A guy is interviewing a blonde for a job.

He says, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

She says, "The living one."

Probably Better To Believe In Santa

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

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