How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.
This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."
The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"
A priest gets a flat tire fixed.
As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"
The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."
The priest says, "You better give them another turn."
When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
