How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.
What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"
Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."
And that's when the fight started...
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"
