How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.
The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."
The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"
So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
