Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

: Created: 20 October 2015; Hits: 2015

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

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Not The Man Of My Dreams

Mindi and Sylvia go to the zoo. A gorilla breaks out of his cage, grabs Sylvia, throws her down, rips off all her clothes, and fucks her. The zookeeper pulls the gorilla off, and takes poor Sylvia to the hospital.

A few days later, Mindi goes to visit her. She says, "So how you are feeling, Sylvia?"

Sylvia says, "So how should I feel? He doesn't call, he doesn't write..."

Giddy up!

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?

Cowboy hats are for assholes.

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How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.