Why are black guys dicks bigger than white guys?
Because as kids white guys had toys to play with!
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A guy is just miserable. So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.
The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."
The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."
So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.
When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"
The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."