1. Remember to text my girlfriend a big lovey dovey message at the start of the day. 2. Remember to buy her a card in my lunch break. 3. Buy her some more crap in the rush hour after work before I meet her. 4. Take her to a fancy restaurant and pay for a pointlessly expensive meal. 5. Take her back to her place and give her some gentle, passionate love when all I want to do is excessively bang her.
And I have to do all this, then drive home without my wife finding out!
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. The boy asks: "Dad, why do they make packs of just one condom?" Dad says: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Then the boy asls: "So, why do they make packs of three?" And dad says: "Those are for the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Finally the boy asks: "Then why do they make packs of 12?" And dad tells him: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March..."
