A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Doctor Patient Confidentiality

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A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.

Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"

The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."

Good Reason To Join

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Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony? The girl who can eat the last donut.

Off-Label Usage

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Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.

Keeps them from rolling out of bed.

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Get A Little Culture

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

Too Old For That

A ninety-year-old guy is walking by a lake when he hears, "Hi, there." He looks down, and it's a bullfrog.
He picks it up, and the frog says, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
The old guy unzips his bag, puts in the frog, and starts to zip it back up. The frog says, "What are you doing?"
The old guy says, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog."