Rest In Peace

: Created: 17 July 2015; Hits: 3187

Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?

There are only two handles on a garbage can.

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What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?

Spit, swallow, and gargle

Dad Knows The Score

When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."

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Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"

The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.

"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."