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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

This One's About Tools

Hits: 2265

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

The Doctor Was A Big Help

Hits: 2222

My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.

No Reason To Split Up

Hits: 2771

This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.

One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

#NSFW

Here's my observation about work and productivity:

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the internet.

Black Friday

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop, it read: MAIN ENTRANCE.

A Senior Moment

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"