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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

This One's About Tools

Hits: 2213

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

The Doctor Was A Big Help

Hits: 2166

My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.

No Reason To Split Up

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This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.

One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."

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Sex Change

What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?

A tran-sister.

Really Paid Off!

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."

What's For Dinner?

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.