Dick Jokes
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What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?
Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.
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My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
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This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.
One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."