Dick Jokes
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A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."
"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."
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This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices a handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out, to which he responds, "Sure lady."
They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have an itchy pussy."
The young man responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!"
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What do a condom & a coffin have in common?
You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.