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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

And I Don't Even Know It

Hits: 2807

You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.

For Those Who Like Hunting

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What about a deer with no eyes & no legs?

Still no idea.

And a deer with no eyes, no legs & no dick?

Still no fuckin' idea.

Call Me Old Fashioned

Hits: 2860

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Reason To Stay Single

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Breaking A Bad Habit

How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?

Draw a dick on it.

Some Things You Never Want To Forget

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.

Between his sobs and sniffles, the old guy answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she cooks me my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me the best blow job an old man ever could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love again." He breaks down again crying no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around the old guy. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up and through his tears he says, "I forgot where I live."